PC’s, Mac’s, Laptops, Women and Zillz…

Often, I get asked about what type of computer I have. I don’t have a dell or anything that comes like AS IS straight outta Best Buy. In fact, my mother and father purchased my first computer when I was 4. It set me up to be the monster that I am now. So when I hit college, I got a compaq for real cheap. And had it for a long time. It was slow. Only had a pentium 3 processor. And a 3 gig hard drive. I was po’. But I was po’ before college. I was really po’ during college. I’m still po…well I bought the OR. Ha! The compaq did it’s job. I even used it to record music!

So one day something went wrong with Sleaze’s computer, a compaq also, and he asked if I could fix it. Not one to turn down a challenge to tinker with some machinery, I replied, “Hell yeah I can fix it.” I failed at that. It needed something that I wouldn’t delve into until I few years later.

About ‘04 or something, I needed a new computer because dammit the motherboard fried on my computer. How did I know that? It wouldn’t turn on. So at the time I was hustlin’ whips at Trizznay Cop-A-Whip and this Montegomery Burns guy came in and I asked him about computers, he said that he builds ‘em. And since they were paying me in peanuts at Borrow-A-Hooptie, I won’t trying to pay for anything at Best Buy.

McMeezy at the time kept telling me, Zillz you should build your own computer. I was being all sensitive with it because, I’ve never did it before. He had mad confidence in something I couldn’t do. In fact, when I got my first ethernet card, I had him put it in. McMeezy is the same mofo who drops a couple of stacks on a laptop but telling me I should build a computer.

So I dropped $200 on the Scrooge McDuck and he gave me a tower with a cd player. It worked like it was supposed to.

So he put me onto CompUSA and where I could buy parts. The rest was Legos. So I started to tinker with this p4 joint I copped off of Mr. Pennybags. And then about 2 years ago, I blew the motherboard.
Replaced it with another p4 joint when I that one blew out in a year. And I was hot, because I’m spending little chips for weak parts.

I’m from the area and era of bootleg, “i got it for cheap”, off the truck fame. Ya dig. So I didn’t want to throw a decent amount of chips into it. Especially when you pay for stuff, you really paying for the markup. I had remembered one jewel that McMeezy told me…. “When it comes to electronics, you get what you pay for.” By this time I had stopped recording music, and had started tinkering more with open source softwares. Creating little progs. Loading up my phone with things. So I wanted more outta my computer.

I wrote a lil’ list of what was the new hotness. Processors, Motherboards, Power Supplies, CD/DVD RW+/-, Monitors, Sound Systems, Wireless Keyboards, and “Mouses” (c) Sleaze, Cases, etc. Me being the ZLR that I R, I wanted to be something different. I remember telling Mallz, “Yeah I want the most powerful, fastest computer with as much space as I can get but only have the fewest, lightest, smallest open source progs on it.” I wanted to be able to play dvds, video games, etc. with no skipping or lagging. Even though I had no interest in playing games on my computer unless it was either Mugen or OpenBOR. (Google ‘em)

I wanted Batman’s computer.

With the help of UPS, Tigerdirect, Newegg, Amazon and Craigslist…I built the glow in the dark Core 2 Duo, DVD burning, Nvidia, SLI, 2-point-something mhz, 750 watt monster dressed in an Ultra case that sits on the floor in my room now. Its name is Gladys…like my car. If only women were as customizable and sat in the corner of the room and hummed quietly.

And seriously I got everything I wanted. My computer’s sound system sounds better than the surround sound in your home theater and the sub hits harder than the 12’s in your Geo Metro bidges. Best of all, this all cost LESS than what you paid to the Geek Squad. If you’re going to purchase a put-together ready-to-go desktop, you might as well cop it from Gateway.com.

If you any of you have read this much, congrats, I didn’t think it was cool to read anymore. But chea, if you want me to build you a computer that will last you, you know how to contact the kid. I don’t have any guarantees on the parts because I didn’t manufacture them and I’m not making no house calls. Nevermind…don’t contact me about that at all! Kidding…kinda…

I don’t believe in laptops totally replacing desktops. There’s something about the desktop that I love and hate about laptops. I realize the necessity of a laptop (I’m currently shopping for one). The number of things that I’m now apart of makes me travel much more. But I see that I’m back where I once was. The reason why I haven’t purchased a laptop is because, I feel like I’m getting inferior, prepackaged parts with a high ass markup.

So I find myself going onto Dell.com customizing Inspirons the way I would like. Yet with the same specs, the price always is garbo compared to what one could get on Tigerdirect. Something to me is just off-putting about buying a laptop from a site like Tiger or Newegg or Amazon. The brands / styles are not there. Other things that keep me from purchasing laptops have to do with the standard options that they come with vs. what I WANT/NEED:

Vista. I don’t want Vista period.
Pre-installed software. I don’t want any of that.
Design. I like the Dell XPS design. But Dell is beating customers in the head over XPS’s.
Has to be widescreen…atleast 1440 x 900. Same as my desktop monitor.
Not “dual-core”. But Core 2 Duo (Or AMD’s equivalent) Or Better!.
6 hour battery.
2 gig ram.
160 gig minimum hard drive.

And for some reason I believe that I should be able to get something just like that, brand new, without sacrificing anything for $700 or less. *shrugs* I’m being cheap maybe. So I read on Engadget about Dell dropping some new Inspirons this month that looks like the XPS. I’m going to wait for that and see whats up. I know my peeps are sick of me talking about purchasing a laptop. “Just get it!” — Tracey.

I got friends who got the XPS and the Macbook Air. The Macbook Air is really not what I want at all. It’s like a skinny woman that looks good on the outside, but just an average broad under the hood. Don’t get me wrong ladies, y’all thin mints look good too. But not the emaciated ones. And that’s how I look at the Macbook Air. The XPS is like a gal that has a nice shape…and looks good. Smart, can cook, etc. but she asking too much from you. Namely your wallet. And any other macbook is her neighbor.

Yeah I see how I’m making these analogies between laptops and cars to women. Because “these are a few of my favorite things.” And really, I believe that you choose these things all the same way…a reflection of your personality. Maybe I’ll get into that one day.

I need to get some sort of agent or representation…something. Get one of these companies to cosiggy me with a high-end laptop. Who’s trying to hook-up with a superblogger / enterprenuer / designing / king of the baby daddies?

Moral of this story …don’t feed dem gals. (unrelated)

On some otherness…this wireless mini keyboard is HOT!